Dear me, how long has it been since I’ve posted on this poorly neglected blog? Well over six months. This article is less informative andmore of a personal reflection. My life has exploded in the last year, both when it comes to wonderful blessings and profound losses. I graduated high school and started community college as a psychology major planning to achieve my master’s and become a clinical counselor. I’ve had the amazing opportunity to attend Summit Ministries’ worldview summer camp (you can read about my experience in an article I wrote for their blog HERE). My relationship with God has taken twists and turns, teaching me more about trusting and relying on Him. I have learned for the first time in a secular environment of students of widely varying backgrounds and origins (an unusual experience for this homeschool graduate.) I had the opportunity to speak at a prominent state homeschool convention on public speaking and have been invited back to speak next year on introversion and the next year on worldviews. My online life has shifted as I have made hundreds of new acquaintances from all over the world. My education, faith, and outlook on life have all shifted somewhat as God seeks to make me into the man He can best use.
But these triumphs have come with their fair share of disappointments and tragedies. In early July, a dear friend broke off her relationship with me, shaking me to my core and setting the foundation for the hardest three months I have ever endured. My cousin (who also happens to be one of my best friend) suffered the loss of his grandmother. A dear co-worker passed away in early August. My Aunt Sandy, a grandmother to me, passed away from cancer in October. My pastor had heart problems that placed him in the hospital for several months. I had a series of complications with my tuition at my university. It seems that no facet of my life was left untouched by tragedy. This, along with many other smaller challenges, left me feeling squished, exhausted, and frustrated.
I share these things, not to complain, but to demonstrate the severity of the last three months. Throughout all of this, God never left me. There were times when I was genuinely angry with Him, yelling at Him out of the pain. I learned however, that there is a remarkable futility about trying to remain angry with the only One who can truly help. As I said, God was there for me. Even as every part of my mind and spirit ached, He sent people to help. I was blessed with the ministry to remarkable friends, new and old, to help with the process of healing. My mantra became, and has remained, "Life is hard, but God is good."
Does it still hurt? At times, you bet. I don’t pretend to fully understand or to have fully processed the events of the last three months. The thing that God has shown me the most is that, no matter what, I can trust Him with my life. In addition, he has taught me the incalculable value of a supportive network of friends and family. If you are going through hard times, remember to reach out to God and others around you. There is a purpose to whatever you are going through and, if you don’t have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, perhaps that is the purpose.
Where Do We Go From Here?
Is the Bibliophile Blog done? Never! This blog has existed for the past year and will for years to come! For the time being, my posts will be sporadic but I do intend to write a few posts I have in mind as well as posting a series of papers I have written for my various college classes. Stay tuned and keep reading! And feel free to contact me. I love hearing from my readers, especially when my posts have made an impact!
Soli Deo Gloria,
James W. Ware